I thought my morning sickness was pretty much done a week or two ago but apparently that was just the baby having some fun with me. It’s come back with a vengeance ever since I started taking call again. Given, it’s still nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I haven’t thrown up in 3 or 4 weeks but I have felt extremely nauseous and uncomfortable. This weekend has actually been great. I’ve finally started to feel hungry and can actually eat a reasonable amount at meals. I’m on call again tomorrow so we’ll see if this lasts…

Amazing to think that I was actually starting to get a little worried by the fact that I hadn’t gained any weight, but this week I’m definitely starting to get a little stomach. You still can’t tell when I’m wearing regular clothes, but I definitely notice that my jeans are tighter. I’m sure I’ll eventually be very annoyed by my large stomach, but at the moment I’m very excited.

In running news, I had a great time running a turkey trot today at Breakheart Reservation. We run this race every year, and I highly recommend it because a) it’s free and b) they raffle off turkeys at the end. The very first year I ran it, I won a turkey so now I’m hooked for life. I do not, however, recommend this race for setting a PR. It’s a 5K and extremely hilly. I can’t emphasize that enough! Very hilly! Given my pregnancy, I knew there was no way I’d be setting a PR this year, but I was still very pleased with my time of 34:28 since my non-pregnant time last year was 32:48. Not bad at all given how slowly I’ve been moving lately. Plus, it felt really great to sprint at the end and pass a bunch of people. Definitely makes me more excited for the official turkey trot we’ll be doing on Thanksgiving day.

Now that we’ve finally told pretty much everyone about our pregnancy, I decided I could make public all the posts I’ve written as we’ve gone along, so feel free to go back and look at them. Not that I know who’s actually reading this. Lately it seems to be a forum for people who a) are dizzy while running or b) have had trouble with knee replacements. Speaking of which, I haven’t been dizzy at all while pregnant, and my mother continues to struggle with her knee replacement. She recently went back for a “check up” but the surgeon was totally unhelpful and told her everything looked great even though she’s in terrible pain. hmm. The other scary thing is that now her other knee is starting to really bother her, but she’s not sure she can face another surgery given how much trouble she’s already had. I think she’s worried that she won’t be able to keep up once the baby’s born. If anyone has any good recommendations for orthopedic surgeons in Boston, please let me know!

After what seemed like interminable waiting, we finally got the results of our early risk assessment. I was actually post call from Northshore when my phone rang but I knew it was getting near the time of the results so I answered it. Luckily, it was very good news. Our risk for trisomy 21 went from 1:600 to 1:10,000. And our risk of trisomy 13 and 18 went from 1:1200 to 1:10,000. Excellent.

Despite our good results, I wonder if I would do the early risk assessment again. I never really considered when we first signed up for it the possibility of “bad results.” I just assumed everything would be fine and this test would help confirm that. But after thinking about it more, I’ve realized just how stressful (sometimes needlessly) it can be if the results are ambiguous or “not so good.” First of all, you have to wait several weeks before you can do amnio and then you have to wait another few weeks for the results. And all the while, you’ve seen this very cute fetus inside you and are continuing to bond with it. Makes me realize how extremely difficult abortion would be, especially so late in the pregnancy. Even though I’m officially pro-choice, being pregnant and thinking about these decisions, makes me questions my beliefs a little.

Eddie and I had talked beforehand, and I think we both felt fairly certain that we would not abort for trisomy 21, but neither of us was quite sure what we do for trisomy 13 and 18. Prior to being pregnant, I was fairly sure that I would have an abortion for both syndromes but now I’m not so sure. Thankfully, this is not a decision we have to deal with, but it makes me reconsider the early risk assessment.

In other news, we’d been waiting for the results of the ERA before announcing our pregnancy to the world, so it’s been very nice to finally tell everyone. We still have a few people left to tell, but that’s just because we haven’t had time to call them.

I’m also very pleased that I’ve managed to keep up with my running, at least to some degree. Before the pregnancy, I was running about 20 miles a week and now I’m down to about 10 per week (and much slower!), but it feels good to still be staying in shape. Plus, I’m sure it will help with weight control now that my morning sickness is subsiding. Interestingly, we went to the ob yesterday, and she said that I still haven’t gained any weight. I was hoping she would prescribe a diet of ice cream and milkshakes but no such luck. I have noticed a very tiny bit of a belly but it hasn’t started to affect how my clothes fit yet. I sense the next few weeks could be a little awkward as I outgrow my regular clothes but am not yet big enough for maternity clothes.

We’ve been starting to research daycares lately. I’ve compiled a list of several near us that take infants, and we went to visit one today. I was impressed by how nice it seemed. I’ve also been surpised by the fact that there are relatively few that are close to us. The one we went to today was only 4 miles away, but 4 miles on Mass Ave during rush hour can mean 30 minutes each way. ugh. We’ll be looking at a few more over the next several weeks, and we’re also going to join a variety of “parent lists.” We have a lot to do over the next 5 months but I think most of it will be fun.

We had our appointment for the early risk ultrasound today. I had been looking forward to it for weeks but found myself getting kind of nervous as the day approached. We checked in at 8:45 am and waited a bit to be called. I was a little surprised when they took us right into the ultrasound room. I figured we’d talk with a doctor first or something. The set up in the room was pretty cool because they had a screen facing me and Eddie so we could see exactly what the ultrasonographer was doing. I couldn’t believe it when they put the probe on my stomach and there was the baby! Despite all the nausea I’ve been having and despite hearing the heartbeat a few weeks ago, I still didn’t quite believe there was a baby inside me. In fact, even with these pictures, I’m not sure I’ll really believe it until I actually feel the baby kick.

The pictures were amazing. The baby is only 3 inches long but we could see everything: brain, beating heart, stomach, arms and legs, and even fingers and toes. The baby kept moving its arms and legs around. And we could even see it opening its mouth and swallowing. Unreal. I kept looking at the screen and then looking at my stomach and trying to reconcile the two images. I can’t even describe how cool it was to see the pictures. And how cute our baby is! Even the 3D images didn’t look too alien. I really liked our ultrasonographer. She explained what we were seeing and seemed to share some of our excitement. Unfortunately, the ob who came after her was very off putting. I can’t even quite figure out what she did, but she seemed very unwilling to share any information with us and kept giving off the impression that something was wrong. Very annoying. I was pretty upset after that even though we knew the nasal bone was fine and the nuchal translucency was less than 2. Silly doctor. Hope I don’t do that to any of my patients!

I started to feel better after I got home and talked to Elena. She reassured me that she had been examined by both an ultrasonographer and an MD. And she said her doctor said any measurement less than 2 was great. Plus, it was fun uploading all the pictures and talking with Eddie about how cute our baby is.

I think I’ll wait until I have the results of the bloodwork before I tell everyone in the residency, but we told our parents they could start telling people. I get a little smile on my face every time I think about the pictures and how active our baby was.

Here’s a picture of our baby in profile. I swear it looked even cuter on the ultrasound screen.

And here’s the cool 3D picture.

And here is its foot!

Have finally been able to tell a few people: Dave and Janice, Shilpa and Jack, and Elena and Todd. Elena was probably the most excited and has already given me all of her pregnancy clothes. Extremely useful. I think she’ll also be great to go shopping with. She has lots of great places for buying used baby things and used maternity clothes. Excellent. As much as I know that maternity leave is not vacation, I’m seriously looking forward to it. Imagine 2 months of no work!! I can’t wait. At the moment, I only have 1 more call on the wards and then I start adolescent. Phew. Sadly, I’m paying Smitha back by working 8a-8p in the ED next Saturday but at least I’ll have Sunday off. And then that Monday we get to have ERA ultrasound!! I can’t wait to see a picture of the baby. Since I’m still not showing at all, I still can’t quite believe there’s a baby inside of me.

My nausea is definitely getting better but it’s also definitely still there, and I can’t wait for it to be gone. Imagine being able to eat an entire meal without feeling nauseous. Imagine being able to look forward to eating again. Hopefully that day will come soon.

I’ve been trying to keep up with my running with the goal of running the Gobble Gobble Gobble 4 miler on Thanksgiving. So far the best I’ve managed is to run the 3 mile run out of the Old Magoun Saloon. Other than that, all my runs have been 2 to 2.5 miles. It’s unbelievable how tiring it now is for me to run 2 miles at a 12 minute pace. Crazy that it’s so much more effortful, and I don’t even have a tummy yet. I guess that’s what increased blood volume will do to you.

We had our first appointment with the ob on Friday. I was slightly delirious from being post call with only about 15 minutes of sleep but it was still a great appointment. Toward the end, she mentioned that it’s probably too early to hear the heartbeat but that she was willing to try. It was so cool when she put the doppler on my stomach, and I could hear the little woosh-woosh. I almost started crying. It somehow made everything seem so much more real. After that, she went and got Eddie so that he could hear it too. And the really good news is that apparently the risk of miscarriage is very low once you can hear the heartbeat. It was so exciting. Despite all the nausea and everything else, I still can’t quite believe that there’s a little baby inside of me. Even though so many other couples go through this, I somehow feel like Eddie and I are undergoing this unique experience that no one else can quite understand.

After the appointment, we started talking about telling other people now that the risk of miscarriage is so low. We decided to tell a few people. We figure we’ll tell pretty much everyone after the early risk assessment. So exciting!! Now I want to go buy a book on baby names.

Three tomato plants and one very rainy summer, and this is what I have to show for it:

I had another pretty quiet call last night but the nausea was significantly worse and today post call I haven’t been able to get rid of it. I threw up at work before I left in the morning, and then managed to have some cereal when I got home but then felt very nauseous. Luckily, I was able to fall asleep before I threw up. I woke up this afternoon and went for a 30 minute walk, feeling nauseous the whole time. I decided that Thai food was vaguely appealing so had a little for dinner and then threw up again. I feel a little better now after throwing up but still pretty nauseous. It’s so painful. And very difficult to take the prenatal vitamins because that just makes it worse.

Luckily, I had my first intake phone appt with the ob office this afternoon and the nurse suggested I should email my ob about zofran. I had no idea it was class 2. I think I’ll be a little nervous about taking it, and maybe I won’t actually take it, but the mental relief of not having to feel horribly nauseous for the entire next month is great. I remain pretty nervous about how I’m going to make it through the next 5 weeks.

Started having some nausea over the past few days. Was initially excited about it but now have rather had enough of it. Hmmm. Not really looking forward to 7 more weeks of this. Also, went for a run today and had a very tough time both because of nausea and exhaustion. But still proud that I managed to get it done. I’m really hoping that I can keep running through at least the first trimester and even into the second. Once I’m in the third trimester I feel that switching to walking is acceptable.

Being pregnant is kind of neat. I feel like I’m carrying around this exciting little secret that makes me smile a few times a day when I remember. Amazing to think that I have an entire other person growing inside me and that within the next week or so there will be a beating heart. How is that possible?! So cool.

There are times when life just seems perfect and this is one of those times. I’m sitting on the front porch with my cat enjoying an iced coffee and the beautiful weather. I just got home from a fabulous call, and I’m looking forward to a fun labor day barbecue this afternoon.

Have had a very nice weekend that started with dinner with Eddie at Steve’s (our favorite Greek restaurant) and then a very nice walk down Newbury St on a gorgeous evening. Even stopped in at Border’s and (amazingly) found an Agatha Christie book that I’ve never read. For those of you who don’t me, that is quite a feat since I was pretty certain that I had read every Agatha Christie and probably own ~80% of them. Saturday morning we met some good friends for dim sum. Saturday afternoon was very productive. I cleaned the apartment, filled out some forms for this lawyer we’re meeting with, answered a bunch of emails and went running. Saturday evening we met friends for dinner who happen to be 37 weeks pregnant, and it was fun to see how happy they are and how excited (and nervous!) they are about the baby. Yesterday I was on call, and it was pretty close to the perfect call. Pretty busy during the day which helps make the time pass and then absolutely quiet from 8 pm onward so I got plenty of sleep and even got to do a little teaching. And now I’m relaxing on my porch.

Fall is definitely my favorite season. I love the cooler temperatures and the sunshine. It’s so nice to sit here on the porch and listen to the activity of the neighborhood while starting at the blue sky and green leaves. Perfect.

So, we started trying to get pregnant the month of August. After reading about it in several pregnancy books, it seemed that our chances of actually getting pregnant on the first month were quite low and that the average time it took for a couple our age to get pregnant was 6 to 10 months. Phew. That’s a long time to wait. It seemed to me that since I had spent the past 12 years trying not to get pregnant, it should be pretty easy to get pregnant, especially given all the warnings we got in high school health class.

On September 1st, after working a 13 hour ED shift, I decided I should pick up a pregnancy test on the way home. Eddie thought I was utterly ridiculous because there was no way we would get pregnant on our very first try. However, I figured it couldn’t hurt, especially since the kits come with two tests each. After the exciting drama of peeing into a cup, I called Eddie to come look at the little stick. I absolutely could not believe it when two pink lines appeared. I mean, really, what are the chances?! We called our parents who did lots of happy screaming, all the while warning us not to get too excited.

It’s been a few days now, and I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. I feel some occasional pressure in my lower abdomen and some occasional nausea, and I had my first experience with insomnia last night, all of which (apparently) can be signs of pregnancy. Never thought I would be excited about feeling nauseous… I remain somewhat annoyed that I can’t drink and that there are whole hosts of random foods that I can’t eat. Now the real challenge is not telling people. Of course, most of them will probably guess pretty soon since I’m not drinking, but there’s not much I can do about that.

It’s a little bit terrifying to realize that I’m actually pregnant. We’re going to have a baby. Crazy. It means our whole life will change. I can’t quite imagine being responsible for another human being, which is kind of funny since I’m a doctor, but it’s obviously different when it’s your own child. And of course I’m worried that something will go wrong. We know several people who’ve had miscarriages and one person who’s had an ectopic. And being a doctor, I feel like I know a million other things that could go wrong. Rather scary.

The older I get, the more I start to believe in some sort of higher power and this is one of the times when it’s oddly comforting to think that things are out of my hands.