Another running blog

I’m not sure whether I’m more frustrated with not being able to walk or with being at a new hospital and not knowing how anything works. Although this ridiculous knee scooter I have is very helpful, there are times when I want to throw it out the window. It’s difficult to maneuver in small spaces and pretty much impossible to go up and down steps. The entry into our house only has three steps, but it’s very difficult to navigate. I need to have my crutches to go up and down the stairs and then I need to somehow lift the scooter without falling over. And yes, I could ask my amazing husband to help me, but I hate having to depend on other people.

I’m also pretty exasperated by some of the orientation to my new job. No one actually went over the benefits, and it’s hard to figure it out from the online information. Plus, I’m trying to set up follow up appointments for myself and a new pediatrician for Charlotte but no one will even let me make an appointment without my insurance information. They seem to think I’m lying when I say I haven’t signed up yet, but that it will be retroactive to 7/1 when I do sign up. And the big orientation I went to on the first day was actually for the main hospital and not the Children’s hospital I’ll be working in, so it seems all the passwords/computer access I got there is irrelevant. I officially start in 2 days and I still can’t figure out my email or the electronic order system. Not to mention the millions of various paper forms. And yes, once again there are many people I can ask for help, but I want to be able to just figure it out myself. My mother would be amused because apparently “do it self” was one of my favorite phrases as a toddler. It’s just so difficult to go from a place where I knew everything and everyone to not knowing how anything works.

I’m also getting pretty anxious about the long hours that are about to start. After a year of working 8 to 5 with most weekends off, this is going to be really tough. I’m sad that there will be days when I leave for work before Charlotte wakes up and get home after she goes to bed. I didn’t have kids when I applied for fellowship, and my priorities are definitely different now. It makes me wonder if I made the right career decision, but I feel like it’s too late to back out now after moving my family across the country. Plus, I really do like this field, and I have no idea what else I would do.

And, to top it all off, I can’t go running to get any of this out of my system. On that note, it’s definitely time for bed.